“I’ve had taxis called to my house at 3am, and six different pizza take aways delivered in one night, none of which I ordered!”
“If I was eating in McDonalds, he was in the queue for the drive through. If I went to Asda, he was in the next aisle. I couldn’t figure out how he always knew where I was.”
This is what the women of North East Lincolnshire who have experienced stalking have told us.
Latest figures from the Suzy Lamplugh Trust show that one in five women nationally are victims of stalking. In North East Lincolnshire in 2023/2024 there were 5,300 reported instances of violence against women and girls – and a growing number of these incidents are reports of stalking.
The women featured are all being supported by Women’s Aid. Here’s what they had to say:
Jane told us that her ex-husband drove past her house at all times of the day and night. She said that if it wasn’t him driving past, it was a take-away or a taxi turning up to her house late at night that he had ordered.
“It feels like little things each time and when you tell someone an isolated experience, they may not think it’s that much of a big deal, but when this is happening every single day, it starts to become a problem. I can’t even prove it’s undeniably my ex ringing the taxis and ordering the take away’s, but there wouldn’t be anyone else who would do this to me.”
This is echoed in Emma’s story, who couldn’t understand how her ex-boyfriend seemed to know where she was at all times.
Emma explained he seemed to turn up wherever she was, she had turned off all location sharing on both her phone and her children’s phones. She had mechanics check her car for trackers and regularly changed her routine. But he still managed to figure out where she was.
Her friends tried to tell her that North East Lincolnshire is such a small place that it may have been a coincidence, but Emma’s gut feeling was that it was something more sinister.
Emma took her phone to the provider who was able to go through each app. This found a false parcel tracking link that had been emailed to Emma and had downloaded a hidden app that shared her location.
With the hidden app deleted, Emma found that her ex was no longer showing up whenever she left the house.
Emma said “Women’s Aid have been amazing, I couldn’t have done this without them. There were times when I felt like I was going crazy, I feel so much safer now and it’s all thanks to Women’s Aid believing me.
Cllr Stan Shreeve, North East Lincolnshire Council’s Deputy Leader and Portfolio Holder for Health, Wellbeing, and Adult Social Care said: “Women’s Aid work so hard to support our vulnerable. They do outstanding work supporting and advising those at some of their most difficult times.”
Henrietta couldn’t understand why her ex started making odd comments to her mum when he came to pick up their child. He was saying things about Henrietta’s haircut or the new furniture she had bought for her house.
After inspection, Henrietta found that a gift her son had brought home had a tracker in it. Her ex had been watching her remotely.
These women’s names have been changed for safety and privacy, but their stories are true.
Detective Chief Inspector Nicola Roworth, Humberside Police’s Lead for Stalking, said:
“We are seeing an increase of instances of stalking, and there is no level of stalking or harassment that is acceptable. It is important to know what the signs are if you think you might be being stalked.”
Stalking behaviour is labelled as FOUR – Fixated, Obsessive, Unwanted, and Repetitive. If someone is exhibiting stalking behaviours towards you, please report it to the police.
Stalking and harassment doesn’t have to mean it takes place in person or involves being physically followed or threatened. Stalking can be in several different forms, such as:
- Turning up at work or other locations they know you’ll be at;
- Leaving unwanted gifts;
- Through social media and other social networks;
- Monitoring through tracking devices and mobile apps.
Our partners are aware that there are other victims of stalking including men, however we have only been able to speak to women.
Police and Crime Commissioner Jonathan Evison said “Women and girls deserve to feel safe, no levels of stalking and harassment are acceptable. It is really encouraging to see the great work that is happening to combat this and the support that is out there for anyone who is a victim.”
Women’s Aid NEL have a wide range of support options for those who are being stalked or harassed and would encourage those experiencing this to contact them for advice sooner rather than later.
If you need support with stalking, please ring Women’s Aid on 01472 575757 or visit www.womensaidnel.org. For more information visit https://www.nelincs.gov.uk/keeping-our-area-clean-and-safe/stalking-and-harassment/
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