Thirteen‑year‑old Zach helps care for his younger brother, who has ADHD and autism. Although there are adults in the home who support his brother’s additional needs, Zach plays an important part in making sure his brother feels entertained, understood and safe. “If he’s not entertained,” Zach explains, “he’ll do something he shouldn’t.”
Zach’s caring role looks different to the practical jobs other young carers might do. For him, it’s more emotional and relational, using careful words, keeping his brother calm, and adjusting the way he speaks to avoid triggering upset. He says that being a brother and being a young carer aren’t quite the same: “I have to use my words carefully… I have to be cautious about what I say.”
Life at home can be unpredictable. His brother often wakes very early, and when they shared a room, Zach was regularly woken at 3 or 4am. Now that he shares with his sister instead, life is a little quieter, but the house still revolves around making sure his brother is supported and safe. Many everyday activities such as cooking, using the kettle, going to the shop – must always be supervised.
Coming to young carers groups gives Zach valuable space to breathe. School can feel isolating, and he doesn’t have many close friends there. The group offers a place to talk openly, meet people who understand, and feel connected. “It’s nice to rely on someone I can trust and speak to,” he says. He also spends time at the New Horizon building several evenings a week, a routine that gives him independence, social time and a break from home.
Zach is very aware of how his brother’s needs impact the household, especially his mum and stepdad, who carry most of the responsibility. But he also recognises how fortunate he is to have strong parental support. “I’m very lucky,” he says. “My parents are healthy. They can do the shopping, take us to the doctors. Some people don’t have that.”
If he could give advice to other young carers, it would be to make sure they find small moments for themselves to give them time to step back, unwind and simply be a child. “Even if you’re doing the shopping or helping someone,” he says, “slot in a bit of space for something you want to do. Colouring, TV before bed, reading with a hot chocolate… just space to breathe.”
For Zach, being a young carer isn’t about doing everything, it’s about being there. Being patient. Being understanding. And finding balance between responsibility and being thirteen.
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