Family relationships

It can help families and couples (together or separated) understand and build healthy relationships.

Parental conflict

Parental conflict includes regular arguments and frustration between parents about things like money, parenting, or housework. When children see this conflict often and it isn’t resolved, they can feel upset, confused, or angry.

You can read some helpful advice to resolving parental conflict. Or, Relationships Matter has partnered with us to offer free at home online support.

Resolving parental conflict

If you are getting frustrated with your partner, ask yourself, “How are we doing in our relationship?”. Rate it from 1 to 10, with 1 being unhappy and 10 being happy. Then think about these questions:

How can we change this?
What would things look like if they were better?
What would be happening?
What would we be doing differently?
What would you be thinking or feeling?
What might get in the way?

Use ‘I’ statements

These help us express how we feel about a situation, and what we would like to change:

I feel … (name the feeling)
When … (describe the behaviour)
I need … (state the preferred behaviour)

I feel annoyed when we cannot manage the money properly. I need for us to talk it through and make a plan.

Listen to each other

Active listening helps families understand each other’s views and recognise each other’s feelings. Work together to set boundaries, consequences, and solutions for your child.

Show interest in what your child is doing, even if it’s playing on their computers. Be mindful of your body language and what it communications to your partner or child.

Feeling stressed

Go to another room for some calm and thinking time. Do some breathing exercises: breathe in, hold for three seconds, and then breathe out. Repeat this about three times.

Whenever possible, do something for yourself. Relax in the bath, have a cup of tea or go for a walk. Work together and support each other.